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Drug binge!! [Jun. 25th, 2005|01:37 pm]
Ever sense my last entry things have been insane. It's been party non-stop. I've been hanging with mostly Cassidy and at his friend Lyndsey's house. Lot's of beer and pot. Then we even tripped some dxm together. Last night at this party I took only 14 triple Cs, but this was after staying up straight for two days and eating almost nothing during that time. At the party we smoked some with this dude and I thought that perhaps it was laced with something because when I started to trip it was nothing at all like a DXM trip I have ever had. First of all everyone got these strange neon blue, green, and red outlines around them and they would constantly pulsate. Nothing was static, everything I looked at would constantly swirl with color in and out and change patterns, it was by far some of the most intense and entertaining open eye visuals I have ever had. One of the people at the party was this guy name Charlie who had long black hair, and walked around with no shirt on. I started to hallucinate and think he was a native american warrior complete with war paint and feathers in his hair. When that wasn't the case at all. Man I was trippin'. Now, everyone assured me it wasn't the pot laced with anything, so there are some other possibilities. For one, we had some ether and we did some of that, and that might have had a hand in it. Also, I had tripped the day before and didn't really come down all the way before I started to trip again, and also the lack of sleep for 2 days could have also had a hand in it.
Regardless, I'm pleased by how much of a damn good time I had.

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Randomness.... [Jun. 10th, 2005|04:00 am]
This community seems pretty much dead and inactive, I'll see if anything comes of it in the next few months if I feel like doing anything with it.

Anyway, for all us "dexers" out there I found a great online forum community for those who find themselve spending to much time in the cough and cold sections. http://fourth-plateau.org
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2005|08:22 am]

i hate it when I feel like my life is better when im on drugs. ive been sobering up, trying to convince myself that life is fucking wonderful, considering that Im healthy, pretty much, and even though Im fat and ugly, I have all my arms and legs and a roof over my head.
But these daily battles with myself drive me mad.
Where's the common ground?
Just when I think I find it.................

I wonder if my drug use has fucked up my chemical balance? Ive opened my mind, but is it only the people who use drugs that have an open mind?
Everyone else just seems to be a religious freak ~!!

Sorry its early. Maybe Im a little mental.

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Something for the people... [Mar. 5th, 2005|07:26 pm]
If you don't know who David Firth is then you should, he is perhaps the most morbid, and bizarre flash animator of all time. His work is beyond genius.
Here is a new flash of his that once again will have you scratching your head at the end asking "what just happened to me?".
His flash is perhaps the closest you can come to having a drug trip with out using any kind of drugs. Although on his site it warns vistors of watching his art while on acid or mushrooms, if that tells you anything.
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Long time no see... [Mar. 1st, 2005|08:29 am]

[Current Mood |stressedstressed]
[Current Music |Smile Empty Soul]

Okay, First off the lovely survey...

Drug Use

Created by pokeydex and taken 16 times on bzoink!

You have done drugs right?Yes
Do you use them now?Yes
What was your first drug?Codene/Perc/Weed
How old where you?13
Is someone at your door?No
Did you feel bad first time?No
Get in trouble?No
How much did you do?Pot? A lot...
Did you ever think you would do drugs before you did?Well....We were wanting to do it by then
Are you addicted to any drugs?Yes
Is there a rabbit behind you?No
Ever had withdraws?Yes
Have you ever had flashbacks?Yes
Do you, or have you ever huffed anything?Yes
Ever shot up anything?No
Ever snorted anything?Of Course
You ever steal to buy drugs?That isnt my thing
You ever steal drugs?Once or Twice.... But they owed me
You ever done something immoral to get drugs?What do you consider immoral?
You ever got violent because of drugs?Yes
Do your friends know of your use?Majority of them
Does your family?They know I did drugs...
Do you like to combine drugs?Depends on the drugs combined
Do you use OTC drugs?lol, Caffiene? I love Mountain Dew...lmao
You think you will continue to use drugs for while?Yepp
Have you ever gone to school/work on drugs?Yes:D
Do you find youself thinking about drugs when you are not doing them?Well recently yes
Are you trying to quit drug use?I was ... I dont know anymore
Do you like to do drugs alone or socially?Depends on the drug, but socially
Ever go out to clubs/hangouts and use drugs?Yes
Have you ever sold drugs?Yes
Do you try to get friends to do drugs?No they try to get me to let them do drugs...
Have you ever got a friend to do drugs?She asked for it...
What is you favroite drug socially?OoooOOoooOOoo Pot use to be but Meth
What is you favroite drug while alone?Meth
What is your favroite kind of drug?Meth
Can you make drugs?Yeah, Anyone can....Ever take basic Chemestry?
Do you always find a way to get high?Yes
Ever eat nutmeg to get high?I dont know what that is
What is you favroite kind of drug?You asked this... Or I am going crazy
Speed, trip, get high, or be sedated?OoooOooo.... Speed
Do you mix your drugs?You asked this too?
What is you favroite combo?tweek and oxycodene
Does anyone worry about your drug use?Yes
What type of druggie would you consider yourself?There are types?
Do you always look into a drug before you use it?Majority of the time
Plants or chemicals?Chemicals*...and Plants
Have you ever overdosed?Yes
Can you feel the walls breath?They were moving the other day....but not breathing...
Ever have a bad trip?Yes
Ever been arrested?Yes
Ever been hurt because of being on drugs, but not from the drug?Probably
Any family member have drug problems.Yes
Do you support legalizing drugs?Certain ones
Which drugs?Marijuanna, Speed
What drug do you really want to try?Morning Glory
Any drug you wish you never tried?Meth
Ever tried to kill yourself while on drugs?No....
Are you highly secritive with your use?No, That just makes it noticable
Would you say you like drugs over all?No
You ever been in prison/juvi because of drugs?Waiting on court date
What is the most intresting drug you ever did?Clonazepam
Are drugs easy for you to get?Extremely from east coast to the west and back up to Alaska.
Do you know lady salvia?No
Are you on drugs right now?Yes

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

How has everyone been? Long time no talk. Wow things are crazy lately. I got back in school, had a job but quit it and Ive been doing fairly well. Quitting drugs for a while and going back on them made my parents think i quit... So once again I am "drug free" in my families eyes. Been to a lot of places lately that ask for a face with a name, I have come to the conclusion that makes sense so, here ya go.

Anyone have any interesting hallucinations lately? Man... The other night everything was tinted green my walls were all wavy and there were rats everywhere. It was crazy. Acid is not on my list of things to do any time soon, thats for sure... Thats enough for me today, hope to hear from you all soon.
p.S. Sorry guys Im totally spun....
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(no subject) [Feb. 27th, 2005|07:22 pm]

Hi, I smoked salvia last night and thought I would share my experience. This looks like a cool community, hope you dont mind me joining...

So last night I was the brave idiot haha that smoked the 17x of salvia.
I smoked it and immediately started hallucinating. Then I was like, well I havent broken through yet, and I was dead set on breaking through so I asked for more. I managed to control myself to pack up more and smoke more.
I videotaped my experience, only so I could refer to it later and study it. I am a firm believer, more now than before, that the only way to "get out"is to GO IN.
Basically, inside your head is the pineal gland. A chemical called DMT is released at your time of birth and at your time of death. It is a mystery in itself.
I believe that we must pass through the gateway, portal, third eye, it has alot of names, but we must pass through that in order to reach the other side.
Last night, on the couch I was tripping balls. haha. But then I got up because I felt like the horizion I saw was being interrupted by this one guy, who is not at any fault for anything, I was tripping and I wanted peace. So I asked to go upstairs and when I stood up I talked in a weird way.
I said," We would like to go upstairs," referring to myself. When I said that, everyone was like, We? Uhm... hahahahahah and was laughing at me, but not hilarious but chuckling.
I* acknowledged that they were laughing and said," She thinks its funny that you laugh."
And they thought I meant a she in the room.
I patted myself and said, No, she thinks its funny.
And meant myself.
then I said...

"she thinks its funny that you notice her doing that"

--referring to myself, standing there, totally calm.

I had this weird smirk on my face. Like I knew it all or something.

I went upstairs and managed to pack yet another larger bowl of this stuff. I took it and handed the bong to my friend.
I fell into the wall, my back and then my head, SMACK!
Its on videotape...
So I fell and I started mumbling.
I said alot of things.
As I sat on the bed, I said, "I feel like Ill never be the touches of my fingers, I feel we'll always be that feeling.
makes me *some unaudiable word* my finger touch and now im absolutely amazed. "

Then I said--- (sounds like ) "Radasson ? will you grab me and tell me we've already been mistaken, cos we're going to go over here to do our Destroyer, the red.. you all think it's funny but the red, I know you right?
Okay then make it ok.
That was so horrible.
Oh my God, Oh my god (then I scream)
Help me, I feel like a ribbon in a ribbon in a ribbon factory, Touch me. But you were, you were one of those people. You were one of those people with the uppin things, get that out here," (then I get upset because my friend turned on christmas lights and i get up and run into the hallway and IM like the lights, the lights are scarying me)
I start screaming and fall onto the floor with my friend.
Then I say in a frantic upset high voice...
"But I wasnt me. I couldnt find you. I couldnt find you. I wasnt me. I couldnt find you."

I started saying, "SHhhhhhh Shhhhh. Shhhhhh.SHhhh."
Then I start laughing.
Then I start talking.

"I feel like Im part of this whole thing, this whole thing, I was so afraid. I was so afraid.
Shhhh Be quiet.

We're all part. We're all part, you just dont see it. Youre all part of everything, shh, not funny, I was apart of it moving, we're all part of it moving. It was scarying me, and I thought to myself, I part of everything and I want to be just one thing, and I was part of everythign and I kept waiting for myself catch myself, even right here in this reality, that's how it is, that's how it is that's when your made, that's when you come back. Shhh..

I want more. I kept thinking to myself, I want to be me. Your not who you are, you dont get to stay yourself.Im so afraid, this whole thing of energy I was spinning with it. And i couldnt find you, and I wanted to find you all. I thought they were killing me. It was horrible. All of a sudden they thought they were killing me"

It doesnt make a whole lot of sense, but I was telling my friends that.
Then I come around and I sit on my friends bed for a while.
I remember sitting there and all of a sudden I wasnt there anymore. I was apart of this huge blanket of 8 shaped things, something maybe I will paint for you to truly understand. It was red and yellow.

I was absolutely set on trying to smoke more. Like it was horrifying. It was horrible. It was terrible. But it was amazing.
Like death.
I just realized something, death is equal, so is birth. Everything is like is one or the other.
Like negative and positive.
But not death. Not birth.
It's a tramatic blessing. A wonderful horrible experience.
Things in this life have to be balanced, but right in the middle of balance, right in between the negative and the positive is 0.


I dont ever want to smoke salvia again, but I cant wait to do it again.

I want to be my own scientist sometimes. Trying to decode this life. Its human nature to ask why.
But in all honesty, I think the movie, "The Matrix" comes pretty fucking close.

It was like I was in a matrix of everything.

I do want my individualality, but I dont want to be alone.
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Dissociatives are very bad. [Feb. 26th, 2005|03:17 pm]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]
[Current Music |Marilyn Manson-dissociative]

I've put my foot down, no more DXM for me. I did something last night that was horrible after ingesting nearly 2000mg of DXM and I can't say what it was, but it is proof to me that dissociatives are the most pycotic of hallucinogenic drugs. I feel like death today, I wanna die. I wish someone would kill me or something, but I know these are just the feelings that the drug is giving me. Regardless, I do deserve it after last night.

From now on I'm sticking to psychologically safer drugs. Cough syrup is insane, I think I'll just have to tuff it out from now on when I can't find the street drugs I want. Because at least street drugs are safer. Shroooms, or acid, anything. Just no more DXM or any dissociatives.
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RIP Hunter S. Thompson [Feb. 23rd, 2005|12:05 am]
I think me and some friends should take a road trip and do a bunch of fun substances in remembrance of such a great writer and culture icon.

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Post from my normal journal, but cool enough to put here. [Feb. 22nd, 2005|01:24 pm]
12:53 pm - Rise and Fall: There is no fight club...
Wow, that is all I can say about this four day weekend.

It started friday night when I went with a friend, I forger her name, one of the little mall rats, to her house with Tristan, Emilia, Ian, and Tiffany. Her parents where out so we where going to have a little get together. So we ended up stealing a bunch of DXM containing products like Zicam and such, then we bought some beer. Of course we also had some weed.
So we get to her place, start smoking weed and start taking our medicine. Tristan's music was really awesome to listen to while tripping. The night goes well and we have fun, but then in the middle of the night I have to get up to take a piss. So I walk out not knowing where I am still tripping the fuck out and stuff, I start pissing on the floor of someone's room, then I realize this so I walk into the bathroom to finish but get confused and just stand there and then I blackout. I wake up like, 30 minutes later my pants are soaked with urine, yeah. I pissed myself, the most embarrassing thing I have ever done while on drugs. But whatever it was kind of funny everyone got a laugh.

We woke up the next morning and had a alcoholic breakfast, that was awesome. Then we headed back to town. Me and Tiffany hanged out most of the day, we ended up tripping some more while walking around until the Dawning that night. We then took some more stuff and where tripping hardcore at the club, some people freaked out thinking that Tiff was slipped something or whatever, but she was just robotripping with me. I had to talk to Jen while tripping, that was hard. I told her I couldn't be friends with her because I loved her to much and to be around her without having her is to painful. I guess she understood. Then me and Tiff left the club because she was having a bad trip. We went to Gabe's for the night where we just hanged out and talked to my mom on the phone and just chilled. Also I think Tiff found herself a girlie friend! =^.^=
The next day we stayed pretty much sober and just chilled out.
Then Monday we went to Waynesboro at night where I would stay with Josh tell I can figure what to do with stuff. Tiff went home and I stayed at Josh's. I ended going to Walmart with Machile, got some Zicam. Came back started to trip and then I started drinking rum. After a while Josh's room mate came in Loris (I think that is his name) and he got drunk too. We started talking about boxing and stuff, then fight club. We then decided it would be cool to box. So we did. Oh SHIT! So we ended up bloodying up each other all over the place, my nose is all fucked up, both my eyes are black, and my lip is swollen. I look like hell. Yeah, drugs are bad.... It was a fucking insane time!
But anyway, I'm still feeling the effects of the DXM and alcohol today so my head is spinning, not to mention my body hurts. Mainly my face.
But my Mom says she will have a few thousand dollars and a car soon. I'll go to Arizona with her and have a great life. Good luck to me!
Current Mood: bouncy
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Let's go to Florida! [Feb. 15th, 2005|03:21 pm]
Last night I had a awesome DXM+weed trip. Me and some friend's drove around for a while, got some Zicam, and tripped the fuck out! We sat in the car for a while going no where and I swore we where still moving, and then we all wanted to go to Florida. The driver was sobar and told was kind of fucking with us, saying we where going to flordia with one of her firneds and use her boat to sail around the world in be pirates. I 100% belived this. It was fucking great.
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